A month at home with family and why photography feels more important than ever.

Things have been quiet on the blog lately because I went home to the States to visit family for a month, and I just could not bring myself to spend too much time on the internet or social media. I spend a lot of time assuring my clients that their everyday routine—and all of the happy/sad/funny/boring/weird moments that are cultivated in the space of that routine—are worth capturing and looking back on. The month of November was my turn to live out that belief.

I can see why some people might need to be convinced that their typical, everyday life is actually beautiful and will make them feel so many FEELINGS (nostalgia, gratefulness, maybe a bit of sadness for times gone by) when they look back on the photos later—because even I, a professional family documentarian and storyteller, had trouble feeling this truth in the moment (even though I logically knew it was true). When I look back on my photos from the trip, I see how much my family loves one another and enjoys one another’s company. I see lots of laughter, lots of food indulgence, the gorgeous fall leaves in the Pacific Northwest. But I distinctly remember not feeling all of this as strongly when I was living these things. Is this because the photos are constructing a false narrative, a story that I want to believe but isn’t actually true? I don’t think so. I think it’s just hard to be fully present in our own lives when we’re thinking about how we need to stop by the gas station on the way home and wondering what we’re going to make for dinner. In this way, the photos help me to know what’s true; they open my eyes to how good life really is. I need to be reminded of this.

I am in exactly one photo from this entire trip, which is a regret of mine. Yes, no one else knows how to use my camera, but if I’m being honest, it’s also because I don’t always want to see myself in such an unguarded way. We’re at our most vulnerable when we’re living our life at home with our people, and it takes a tremendous amount of trust and courage to allow someone to record that and then look at the photos later. I have a new appreciation for how truly brave my clients are when they allow me to come into their lives and show them what I see. Maybe, like me, a part of them dreads seeing what they’ll look like when they aren’t tilting their head at the perfect angle and sucking their stomach in. But they know that someday, someone will hold that photo in their hand and it’ll mean everything for them to see it and memorize every curve and line.

I’m back in Taiwan now, and as I look back on this visit, I have a renewed appreciation for the importance of documentary photography. The photos wake us up to what’s good and true about our lives. Sometimes it’s easier for an outsider to see this, especially if they know what to look for.

I truly can’t think of work that gets better than this. I want to be that person who says look at this—see how much you love and are loved in return, see how good it is. I will work on being brave enough to do this for myself as well.